|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Other: Letters | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Aaron brings a recently paddled male's point of view. I hope others will be encouraged by Aaron's insights and openness and will feel free to write to him or I as well. Aaron also opens up some unique paddling dynamics, different from any that we've had described so far at least. His was the first Southern paddling school that we have heard of that seemed to strictly observe "same gender" paddling, to Aaron's knowledge at least, both for hitters and witnesses. This school also seemed to issue far fewer "swats" per session than any other we have heard of. Although our sample size is way too small to draw any broad conclusions, these differences may be at least partly attributable to the fact that men were not allowed to paddle women there. It may also be due to an increased awareness of the sexual violation in paddling that led to the strict gender separation policy for paddling in the first place. Both the increased paddle-sexual awareness that the school likely possessed over those where girls are paddled by men, as well as the lack of "fun" for the men in paddling teen girls, may have created the environment where women were seldom paddled at all. With male hitters taken out of the picture with female victims, the men were not as sexually motivated to ratchet up the intensity of the paddlings into the "5-10 swat range," as they almost universally do in schools were pretty teen girls are commonly and "equally" paddled by men. As the reader will soon see, however, these "helpful changes," which actually are a very real advancement over nearly every paddling school in the Dallas Metroplex, for example, still foster a great deal of resentment, brutality, and sexual concerns. "Half-fixes" of any kind may reduce, but do not eliminate, any of paddling's physically, psychologically, and sexually abusive aspects. Aaron's resentment at the paddlings, and acting out, and continuing paddlings, mirror the same effects we've also seen with other victims. We've seen this with the girl who was a model student at a non-paddling school. She moved to a paddling district, was paddled often for trivial violations, and soon began living down to their expectations and brutalities. She began "acting out," in rebellion as well as sexually, just as nearly always happens in any case of physical and sexual child abuse, which paddling itself constitutes. All personal names in this letter, other than Aaron's, have been changed. -Jeff Charles, May 5, 2002 Aaron's Letter and Interview: Jeff, I have no problem having my name used with my letter and the interview. I would like to be a part of eradicating corporal punishment in schools. I will deal with any letters that come my way. You can use my name and e-mail on your web site. I attended school in the southern border town of Mission, Texas at Sharyland High School. After moving from Michigan, I was in the Sharyland Independent school District from the 4th grade until graduation. My parents chose the school because of its good reputation in academics. Relative to schools elsewhere in the nation, however, Sharyland is mediocre at best. The very south of Texas is an extremely poor area. It is home to many US businesses that have moved their businesses to Mexico for the cheap labor, in what are called "Maliquidora plants," which are just inside the Mexican border. Among the many policies at the school were mandatory ID cards that had to be displayed at all times, shirts tucked in, boy's hair could not be longer than a certain length, no facial hair, and boys could not have any visible piercings. Girls were regularly sent home if their dresses were not a certain length. The area is growing at an extremely fast rate. Sharyland had difficulty trying to fit all of the kids into the buildings. Many of my classes were in trailers in the back of the school. As an athlete I spent most of my time hanging out with the popular crowd and doing the things the popular kids did. I played track, basketball, and football. Football in South Texas is life itself. Thousands of people would show for our games. The quality of a school's football team seemed to be the mark of its success. I played varsity all four years of high school and maintained a GPA barely high enough to be eligible for sports. I never studied for any test and never did the required homework. In the end I was pushed through with a C average, and "off to the University" I went. It is safe to say I was entrenched in the teenage rebellion stage during most of high school. Most of the teachers and principles I got along with, but there were many with which I clashed. To find myself in the principal's office was a regular occurrence. From failing to tuck in my shirt, talking back to a teacher, getting into scuffles at lunch, or being the class clown I was a regular recipient of the many forms of punishment. I admittedly was a troublemaker. There is no doubt that at times I was deserving of certain punishments. As a young adult there was inherently a grudge held against the executioners of my punishment. At the time of all the punishments I disagreed with them. I hence lacked the interpretive ability to question their effectiveness, their morality, and their implications. Looking back now after a few years of higher education, and having a broad range of experiences from which to draw on, I can better understand these punishments and their effect on me. In total, I was probably swatted roughly 40 times during my experience at Sharyland by a variety of principles. "Mr. Thomson," "Mrs. Lee" (a woman who because of policy would have to find a male to hit me), and "Mr. Smith" are the three principles that did most of the hitting. The swats came in sets of 1, 2, or 3. Sometimes we were given the option between "in school suspension" or "the paddle." I always chose the paddle, especially if there was someone around to hear my decision. Countless times I remember sitting just outside the door in a small waiting line listening to the thud of swats as a group of students were periodically called in and hit. Typically you would get a referral to the office for whatever it was you did wrong. Depending on the number of times you were referred to the office your punishment was decided. There was, however, a vagueness that existed as to when "swats" would be used. Sometimes "in school suspension," or a set of detentions were chosen. Getting caught with a shirt not tucked in, or any other infraction, could easily result in action. The policy at Sharyland was that only males can hit males, and only females can hit females. Normally you would be called into the principal's office. He would have a witness of the same sex in the room. You would be told to empty your pockets and bend over and grab onto a chair. There would be a pause, as you stood there bent over facing a wall and grasping the chair. Then you would be hit extremely hard with a wooden paddle. I would slowly and calmly put my wallet, pens, and referral in my pocket without looking my assailants in the eye and walk out of the room without a word. At the time of these incidents all I could think about was turning around wrestling the paddle from him and beating him with it. The experience would make me so embarrassed, angry, and red with fury I was scared they might mistake my expressions for pain. All I could think about was getting them back for making me stand there while the two of them hit me with a stick. Rest assure that I walked out of the office, not with some clear understanding of what I did wrong, or a fear of doing it again, but with a mixture of humiliation, resentment, and revenge in mind. My mother was outraged to hear I was being paddled at school. She complained, but was told that she had signed a consent form at some point. She then revoked their right to hit me. I was still swatted many times after her complaint. I was reluctant to tell her I was still being paddled because swats served as a great option to school suspension. School policy also stated that I could not play in that day's football game if I chose "in school suspension," but could play if I "took the paddle." After swats a mistrusting of authority was strengthened within me. I would be back sooner than the last time. Though at the time I did not consciously think about what the administrators where thinking, and how they justified their swats, I know that I created an image of them in my head as mean and flat-out ignorant. All of their policies and words went through a filter that warped their intentions for me. I had begun to act despite them. All of the Principals would prominently display their paddle on or near their desks, as if to say, "You act up, you get hit." Defiance, I would assume, would be any vibrant, self-respecting person's response to that. I remember one time saying, either before or after a paddling, "When do I get to swat you for the stuff you do wrong?" This only resulted in more swats. A perfect little example of how things would unfold in the long run: contempt for authority and a sense of helplessness was developing in my mind. Many people were referred to the principal's office in a given day. Even a "good kid" could find him or herself in the office eventually because of the strict policies. A friend of mine, "Jim Johnson," once was swatted in such a way that his back was injured. He had to stop playing football for the entire year. Jeff, I just started typing whatever came to mind. I hope this gives you a decent picture of my experiences. - Aaron Aaron allowed me to ask him some interview questions: Jeff: How old were you the first time you were paddled? How old the last time? Aaron: 11, 17 Jeff: Can you list how many times you were paddled in high school--by year? (If it is too many to count you can estimate as best as comes to mind--don't work too hard on any of these). Aaron: 4th grade = I remember getting swats for the first time in the principal's office. I don't remember much of anything except being very scared. 5th grade = no recollection 6th grade = 1 or 2 (by 1 or 2 I mean sets, which are anywhere from 1 to 3 actual hits) 7th grade = 4 or 5 8th grade = 5 or 6 9th grade = 9 or 10 10th grade = 9 or 10 11th grade = 11 - 12 12th grade = 3 or 4 Jeff: What would be your typical clothing when you were paddled? Shirt tucked in or untucked, jockey underwear or boxers, thin dress slacks or jeans, gym shorts, etc? Aaron: Normally I was wearing blue jeans with underwear. My shirt would remain tucked in. I never wore slacks. I remember getting swats after gym class when I was still wearing the thin red shorts they issued to us. I remember thinking that was not much padding and it was going to hurt. Jeff: A difficult question--even women were often confused by this one--but when you felt humiliated, do you think any part of that had a sexual component? Aaron: That is a very difficult question to answer, not because of the humiliation factor, but because I think it is so difficult to analyze the sexual connotations of the situation objectively. Do I think there was a sexual component to my humiliation, and in the act of paddling itself? Absolutely. How could there not be? A person of authority was hitting me on my butt. They were displaying their power over me by inflicting punishment in a sexual way. Why don't people just poke kids in the eyes a couple of times, or better yet use electrical shock? That would not leave any marks. They do not do this because that form of punishment is purely pain orientated, whereas paddling, or the more true form of bare hand to bare butt, has a dominating sexual aura about it. At least that's what I think. Jeff: Did you ever get a feeling that one or more of the paddlers (or witnesses) enjoyed, or had fun, paddling you? If so was this a rare exception, about half of the time, or nearly every time, or some other case? Aaron: Most of the time I believe that they did find satisfaction in paddling me. Normally they were extremely frustrated with me, or felt their authority was compromised by the way I treated them. They surely took great satisfaction in "putting me in my place." Whether or not they were "having fun" is debatable. On less than half of the occasions I believe they truly enjoyed that there was a young man bent over, submitting to their power, waiting and willing to be touched/punished. I will say that Mr. Smith gave me the impression that he was reluctant to punish me. He related to the struggles I was going through. He remembered his own adolescent problems, and seemed to feel that paddling was a last resort. Jeff: It is interesting that only men could paddle and witness men, and only females could paddle and witness females. If that policy was followed as well for females as males, then yours is the first school I have heard of that did so. (Some schools allow only same gender paddling but different gender witnessing). Did that make paddling feel even more sexual in a sense--that gender so overwhelmingly dictated that event compared to detention, or did that make it seem "non-sexual" because they diffused that problem specifically? Aaron: During many of the paddling incidents I was still going through puberty. Understanding sexuality for myself was difficult enough, let alone understanding anyone else's motives, or fully understanding paddling situations. I know, however, that there was definitely an underlying issue of sexuality that is no doubt inherent when men hit a boy on the buttocks. That much I was aware of. There is really no way around it. At the time I did not come to any concrete conclusions or objections to things based on a sexual nature of any kind. I did not have that ability. In hindsight, however, sexual connotations where part of the mixture. Jeff: About how many students would you guess were paddled every day there, on average? Aaron: My guess is anywhere from 3 to 5. Sometimes I'm sure none were hit, and sometimes I remember 5 of us getting swats in the same hour. Jeff: What position(s) did you have to assume for paddling? Aaron: A chair was placed with its back against the wall. You were told not to bend your knees and bend over and grab the seat part of the chair. Jeff: Do you know any details about the student's paddling where he got a back injury from paddling? Do you know what they thought "went wrong"--and what the injury was exactly? Aaron: I know Jim had to quit the football team because his lower back had something wrong with it. He blamed it on the swats and said he wanted to sue. His parents were not the greatest parents. I don't believe they supported his claim at all. The issue seemed to just fade away. Jeff: What was the common euphemism there for the hits--"licks" or "pops" or "swats" or something else? Was there a variety? Aaron: Everyone called them "Swats". Jeff: What size(s) were the paddle(s) as best as you can remember? Aaron: Most were roughly 20 to 25 inches long, and 5 to 8 in wide. Jeff: Can you describe, as much as you can remember, about the paddling in gym shorts--what age/grade you were in, what the paddling was for, where it was carried out, how many hits, why they couldn't wait for you to get dressed, etc. Was it a coach or someone in the gym who paddled, or were you called to the office that way? Aaron: I was in the 6th or 7th grade. During gym class I snuck under the bleachers with a girl. We kissed and held hands. The coach came by and saw us. I remember being in the back of a car driving back to the main building (the gym was 1/4 mile from the school). We sat together in the principal's office and I was eventually swatted. I do not remember what happened to her. She was not swatted in front of me. I would have remembered that. Jeff: You outline about 48 paddle sessions that you can remember on some level. Can you estimate how many hits on average you took? (I know you don't remember them all and you don't know the exact number, so just a "guesstimate" off the top of your head will be fine.) Did there tend to be more or harder hits in high school? What was the high school average number of swats, if it was different from the earlier years? Aaron: Most of the time only 1 hit was the case. Cumulative avg. would be roughly 1.8. The hits always created the same amount of pain. I cannot recall any big difference between JH and HS. JH was most, if not all, single swats, but in high school sometimes 2 and 3 were used. Jeff: Was paddling mixed in with religion for your family, or for other families, or for the community in general do you think? Would a comment like, "Taking the paddle out of school would be just like taking God out" be something you would not be surprised to hear? Aaron: The quote would not have been heard in my home, but it would have been shouted at the school board meetings. Jeff: What was the approximate religious mix if you know--Catholic 40% and Baptist 50% and the rest other, or something different? Aaron: 95% Catholic, 5% Baptist Jeff: Do you think girls were paddled as often as boys in the high school level? If not, what would you estimate the percentages to be, if you know? Aaron: Girls were definitely not paddled as much as boys. I think that the women administrators were much less likely to grab a stick and hit a young woman with it. In the Hispanic culture these girls were extremely submissive as it was. It was not uncommon for these girls to have to serve their male brothers and sisters meals at home. So because the girls were so submissive as it was, I think the need for the women administrators to humiliate them in that way was pointless. It did happen on occasion, but I would guess that about 1% of the girls were paddled, whereas close to 7% of the boys were paddled. Jeff: Was it a big deal when a teen girl got paddled? Was it ever the "talk of the school," or did it elicit sexual thoughts, or at least excited thoughts, by anyone that you were ever aware of? Aaron: It was never a big deal when a girl was paddled. It would have been if it was the head cheerleader, or a track team member, but it was always a poor Hispanic girl, labeled a "gangster." Jeff: Did you ever see students "waiting to be paddled?" Was there a general awareness when other students had been paddled in a way that might affect the other students as "witnesses" on some level, even after the fact? Could you hear the swats, etc? Aaron: We sat shoulder to shoulder outside of the office. We could definitely hear each individual swat. Sometimes students would walk out, trying to smile, and rubbing their bottom. Jeff: Did any of the paddles seem different than the others, or was there only one? Was there a name for any of them? Did any hitter seem to have "pride" in a certain paddle--like, wait--I'll get MY paddle, the "sizzle" or something? Aaron: In junior high, I forget the guy's name, but he had engravings and designs on his paddle. Almost all of them had some sort of stand for the paddle, or otherwise displayed it on or near their desk. Jeff: Can you list your approximate height and weight during grades 8-12, as best as you can estimate offhand? Aaron: 8th - 5'5 130Lbs 10th - 5'8' 145Lbs 12th - 5'11' 155Lbs Jeff: Did you ever get the feeling that the paddlers were very particular where you exactly placed your feet or stood, as though perhaps they might have a hidden camera? Was there ever an obvious camera, or "security camera" in the hall, or anything like that, if you were aware of it? Aaron: The chair we had to bend over (normally one of two facing the principal's desk) was always in the same place up against the wall during a paddling. Besides that I cannot remember anything that they were too particular about. To my knowledge there was no camera present. |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
